Ways to Help Your Teen Navigate a Heartbreak

Any kind of change, loss or challenge is difficult for anyone to endure, especially when there are
also so many physically changes to body through puberty and hormones. It is not uncommon for
teens to experience feelings for others during this developmental stage.

It is important to be mindful as we consider how to approach a teen who is going through a
heartbreak. First, a teenager’s prefrontal cortex is not fully developed. What does this mean?
This part of the brain controls judgements, emotions/emotional reasoning, and taking risks. It is
particularly difficult for teens to navigate a heartbreak given this element.

Strategies for parents to help:

• Avoid minimizing emotions

Yes, as parents we may have a perspective in which we figured our teens were probably not
going to marry their first love (though sometimes it happens), so we share our own biases
surrounding this. This can feel extremely minimizing to your teen! We tend to jump to “you ae
young and you will meet so many more people” or define how someone “should” feel based on
the length of the relationship.

• Validate their feelings

Going through a heartbreak as a teen can feel extremely overwhelming and painful as they are
still developing. Additionally, for a more supportive environment, protective factors are
important to be intentional about building as a parent. Teens may be lacking in protective factors
as they do not have the experience to build them yet and it is not uncommon for young people in
relationships to go “all in” on relationships. In conclusion, this can cause deep emotional pain
after a heart break. It is important for parents to meet their teen’s emotional experience with
emotion and NOT logic. It is unlikely most teens are going to listen to advice or logic during this
time.

• Soothing Strategies

Help teens learn helpful ways to soothe and regulate! First, if your teen does not really want to
discuss about a break up or is maybe projecting feelings onto you, respect their boundary and
give them space if they are requesting it. Then, maybe find create ways to model soothing
strategies and comfort them. This could be cooking their favorite meal, watching their favorite
movie with them, or wrapping them up in their favorite fuzzy blanket.

• Bonding Time

Once it feels like an appropriate time for your teen, have some spontaneous bonding time, be a
protective factor and source of support for your child! Once your teen has some time to heal,
think of some bonding activities that would help further support them in their healing process.
Self-care activities are a great strategy! For example, maybe getting your nails done together,
having a spa day, or a nature walk together!

For additional support or to speak directly with a therapist, reach out today. Contact Us