Identifying Narcissism: Recognizing the Signs

Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be an emotionally taxing and bewildering experience. As therapists, we understand the importance of recognizing the signs of narcissism and providing support to those who find themselves in such relationships. Narcissism has become a buzz word in mainstream society, so we are here to break down what to actually look for, and hopefully provide some support for people who feel like something is “off” in their relationship, but can’t put their finger on it.

Gaslighting: Gaslighting, a manipulation tactic commonly employed by narcissists, can leave individuals feeling confused and questioning their own sanity. Victims of gaslighting may find themselves doubting their perceptions and reality, leading to a profound sense of disorientation and distress. Over time, the chronic stress induced by gaslighting can have lasting effects on the brain, and actually creates a PTSD response over time.

Love-bombing: Narcissists often employ love-bombing, showering their targets with excessive praise and attention in the initial stages of a relationship. This intense affection can be used to manipulate and control, drawing the victim into a web of emotional dependency. Additionally, narcissists are adept at studying their targets, learning their vulnerabilities and using this knowledge to exploit and exert power over them. It can often feel like you met your “soulmate”, as the narcissist actually studies you and learns how to make you feel truly loved. They also become the “perfect partner” for you, so you may find yourself feeling deeply drawn to them.

Idealization/Devaluation/Discard: Initially, Narcissists often idealize their victims, showering them with attention, affection, and flattery to gain their trust and admiration. However, as the relationship progresses, the narcissist’s behavior shifts to devaluation, characterized by criticism, manipulation, and emotional (or even physical) abuse. This can leave the victim feeling confused, unworthy, and constantly striving to regain their partner’s initial approval. This can go on for years.

Eventually, the cycle may culminate in the discard phase, where the narcissist abruptly ends the relationship or withdraws affection, leaving the victim emotionally devastated and struggling to make sense of the abrupt change. This is the abuse cycle and it often repeats itself many times during the relationship with a narcissist.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being and safety. Seeking support from a therapist can provide validation and guidance as you navigate the complexities of the situation. Building a support network of trusted friends and family members can also offer much-needed emotional support.

When considering how to exit a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to prioritize self-care and safety. Establishing boundaries and seeking professional support can be instrumental in the process of disengaging from the relationship. It’s essential to approach this transition with caution, as narcissists may respond with manipulation or aggression when faced with the prospect of losing control.

Identifying narcissism and understanding its impact is a crucial step in breaking free from these relationships. By recognizing the signs, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care, individuals can recover and have fulfilling and meaningful experiences in the future. If you need help finding a therapist to support you in leaving a narcissistic relationship, we have a team of incredible therapists available here: Contact Us